Mothers-daughter relationship

The establishing of a good relationship between mother and daughter if began in infancy and childhood will have a firm foundation which is of value in later years. As a mother meets the needs of the infant and then the toddler, her own needs for love and affirmation are also met in the reciprocal love of the child. This is why the role of mothering should not be left to maids or child-minders. The child must feel and know who their mother is and be sure of her affection and dependability.


Mothers need to portray a positive role about their femininity and not complain or demean the role of women in the home. Daughters need to understand that to be female is a privilege and joy and not a 'curse' as is so often conveyed in some Asian cultures. The best person and the strongest example of feminine dignity and worth is the mother. When she is able to relate to her daughter with genuine love and compassion, she carries into the relationship a sense of worth and the desire to be emulated.


The relationship between mothers and daughters should be an especially beautiful one where the mother sees herself reflected in the person of her daughter and therefore, not only understands her better but enjoys her more. Of course, daughters may also take after their fathers and this is also why a good affirming attitude between spouses is central to the foundation of all family relationships. When girls are growing up they naturally want to have 'girl talk' with someone they trust and look up to. Who better than her mother? But the bonding has to have taken place earlier for the teenager to come to her mother with her questions and problems and it is this bonding at which parents need to work at when they start to have a family. Too often, parents find that they want to befriend their children but they have not established the bonds of trust and mutual respect.


Respect has to be earned through a life-style that reflects the values and principles we stand for. This is how our children evaluate us and we either qualify to become their confidants and friends or we do not, based on their assessment of us. Bad behavior is a symptom of a deeper problem and whether we are able to empathize and evaluate this and to be of help, will depend on the existing relationship.